Letters to my Master

        To my noble master,
             Sir Edward el guapo

    My master, upon who’s destiny and will was to take me from my loving mother and affectionate soul, has for the better re-established me within his compounds of love and familiarity. I write to you this letter, knowing little of the omnipotent language spoken from your honored throut, brought upon by the land of kings and queens (notable in your manner of being sir), to apologize for such incidents that, like yesterday, my creator, such as yours, has entwined in me my instinctive nature to be appalling.
     What foul deed have I unfolded yesterday that form that noble speech, and noble not form its origin alone my master but form the form in which you do express it, were you to express such malice and authority against me, considering such words that would send an angel plunge into the inferno, entering it’s nine gates, bewildered weather Lucifer has conquered the mortal world. I, myself only a beast and not a figure of greatness like yourself, although both our hearts do beat the same, created by the God who does rule the universe, can with some reason (being that I am just an animal) understand your words, echoing through my soulless body, “bad boy” where those wrenching tools of oppression that you did speak late in the evening.
     O master! What woe did I bring to you that has now brought me such grievance. It has brought dishonor on my part, being part of your noble crest, to be cast down upon your eyes. You who in all virtues holds the highest and most notable, taking after those high kings of ancient pasts, Arthur was one, that fame has brought stories and fables of his greatness, only to in truth fall short upon your name, consider the plead of your broken slave.
     Woe beast! Condemn yourself from your master’s house! Such acts, that late that evening did send your masters wrath, breaking my noble spirit and dishonoring my ancestors, of cleansing my rear are not of noble blood. O those itch! That sent me spiraling into the pit of lonesomeness. Master, lord, and protector, forgive this beast of such faults, as most beast do have, and bring back my noble self to equal just a small size of your greatness.

        Your Benevolent Servant,
                Boo