Opaque

     Head thumping, Boo sleeping on the white contrasting floor, becoming almost one with the surrounding night, sound of silence and keyboard keys echoing in my ears, light streaming form the screen to my heavy eyes, tired with thought and confusion, here I sit. The darkness of my house has engulfed me and given me almost a peaceful reminder of the trivialness of sound and motion. As I sit here typing this blogg, the only thing real is my mind and my body (a connection that lasts too little). It’s been several weeks since I’ve had the patience to sit and think, dedicating myself in the motion in life and not in its reason.
     Darkness, hiding the unknown and revealing ones fears, is at this moment blissful. As a child (even now) it has frightened me, revealing an evil side to all inanimate objects, concealing what in the day is familiar, and now, at this very moment, consumed by it, I have made my peace with it.
     Silence, brimming in solitude and emphasizing sound, is consoling my mind from thought. There’s nothing that reminds me more of being alone than silence, quiet, death, and most days I cannot stand for it, turning on the TV for a reminder of the world or the radio to communicate me with it: Alone with the world. Now in silence I am alone, completely, and it is comforting.
     Why is it that tonight all that seems depressing is soothing and calming? So much that the sound of my own breathing has become, in this brief moment, hypnotic with simplicity and congeniality. It is a brief stop, like a marathon runner as he takes a short breath, only to continue in the hardships of his goal, making it as far and fast as he can. My mind has been racing too, driven to find the answer to everything and call myself happy, but there isn’t sun all the time. Silence, darkness, and even solitude is needed once in while to take a breather, away from others thoughts to replenish myself, me, in darkness, silence, and understanding.